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3/28/2023 0 Comments

Acknowledging Without Approving

Poster of confronting a friend instructions

by Jessica Darling Wilkerson, LMFT 104464

Sometimes we get into a rut of thinking that if we acknowledge something then the other person might believe that we are approving or authorizing that thing. What do I mean by that? What type of relationship does this affect?

It affects all the relationships: friendship, romantic, parent, family, you-name-it.

Here's an example, your friend has been going out and socializing regularly. You start to notice that it's more often than it used to be and that it's starting to effect various aspects of their life. You also notice that the people they're spending time with have changed and these people don't hold the same value system that your friend usually holds. If you acknowledge the situation you're afraid that your friend will either feel judged by you or that you think it's okay. Neither outcome is desired, so you keep it to yourself and watch your friend while feeling powerless to do anything.

But that's not true. Those aren't the only options.

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3/14/2023 0 Comments

Helping our Children Handle Stress & Anxiety

by Jessica Darling Wilkerson, LMFT

Anxiety in children can often take on the characteristics of other disorders and can be “misdiagnosed” by the people in the child’s life: parents, family members, teachers, etc. This is because children don’t have the ability to conceptualize and articulate what’s going on intrapsychically for themselves. A child identifies, “I don’t feel good.” They don’t identify the sense of foreboding, or feeling of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” They can’t figure out why they feel this way, but they want the feeling to stop and they’ll do anything to make that happen.

To stop the anxiety they might refuse to participate in an activity. They could seem keyed-up or restless. They might isolate themselves and fight their parent tooth and nail to keep from engaging in whatever the parent wants them to do (go to school, do homework, get dressed, leave the house, etc). They might create little rituals that seem like OCD.

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3/3/2023 0 Comments

All Emotions Are Welcome

by Joe Acciaioli, LCSW #81140

When I first meet a new client, they often say they’ve come to therapy hoping to “feel better.” While this certainly makes sense, there are times when it’s important to open up to–and explore with curiosity–the “negative” emotions that your mind presents you with. If we seek only to feel better, then we’re essentially avoiding those tough emotions–which in the end just leads to more suffering. I put the word “negative” in quotation marks a moment ago, because emotions are really just suggestions for action that our mind gives to us. “What does this emotion want from me?” “What would it look like to act on this emotion in a way that’s consistent with my values?” These can be useful questions to ask yourself.

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Acknowledging Without Approving

Helping our Children Handle Stress & Anxiety

All Emotions Are Welcome

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