Are You Making These 5 Common EMDR Mistakes? (And How Telehealth Can Actually Help)

​EMDR is one of the most powerful tools I've used in my practice for healing trauma and PTSD. But here's the thing, it's also one of the most misunderstood therapies out there.

As someone who's been doing EMDR for years, both in-person and through telehealth, I've seen how small mistakes can derail the entire healing process. I've also watched clients make breakthrough after breakthrough when we get it right. The difference often comes down to understanding what can go wrong and how to prevent it.
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What's surprised me most is how telehealth has actually improved my EMDR practice in ways I never expected. Let me walk you through the five biggest mistakes I see therapists (and clients) making, and how working online can sometimes be the solution, not the problem.

​Mistake #1: Rushing Through the Preparation Phase

This is the mistake that breaks my heart the most because it's so preventable. I see therapists jumping straight into trauma processing without properly preparing their clients. It's like asking someone to run a marathon when they've never jogged around the block.

The preparation phase isn't just paperwork and explanations, it's where we build your nervous system's capacity to handle intense emotions. When Francine Shapiro developed EMDR, she emphasized that proper preparation can take 4-5 sessions for good reason. We need to establish resources, create a safe place in your mind, and teach you how to contain overwhelming feelings.
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How Telehealth Helps: Working from home actually enhances the preparation phase in beautiful ways. You're already in your safest space, surrounded by your own comfort items. I can help you identify resources right there in your environment, that favorite blanket, your pet, family photos. We can practice grounding techniques using your actual space, not just imagining it.

Plus, there's something powerful about establishing that safe place visualization while you're literally sitting in your safe place. The brain makes stronger associations when multiple senses are involved, and being home engages all of them.

Mistake #2: Targeting the Wrong Memories


This mistake comes from good intentions but poor understanding of how trauma actually works in the brain. Many therapists assume the "obvious" trauma is what we should target first. But our brains don't work that logically.

I learned this lesson early in my career when a client came to me for a fear of flying. The obvious target seemed to be a rough flight she'd experienced. But when we did the floatback technique (going back to find the earliest, most disturbing memory related to the feeling), we discovered the root was actually about feeling trapped and powerless, which traced back to childhood experiences, not airplanes at all.

Dr. Daniel Siegel's research on memory networks shows us that traumatic experiences link together through emotional themes, not logical connections. When we target the wrong memory, we're essentially trying to heal a symptom while ignoring the root cause.

How Telehealth Helps: Online sessions create a different kind of safety that often allows deeper honesty about what's really bothering you. There's something about being in your own space that makes it easier to access those quieter, more vulnerable memories that might be the real targets.

I've also found that the slight barrier of the screen sometimes helps people feel safe enough to explore connections they might not share in person. It's not that online therapy is less intimate, it's differently intimate in a way that can unlock important insights.

Mistake #3: Over-Controlling the Processing

This one makes me cringe because I used to do it myself. New EMDR therapists often feel like they need to guide every moment of the processing. We ask too many questions, offer too many interpretations, or redirect clients when their processing doesn't look like what we expect.

But here's what I've learned: your brain knows how to heal itself. The bilateral stimulation (those eye movements or taps) activates your brain's natural processing system. When we interfere too much, we're essentially telling your brain, "I don't trust you to do this right."

Laurel Parnell's work on attachment-focused EMDR emphasizes the importance of following the client's process, not our agenda. Sometimes healing looks like anger, sometimes like sadness, sometimes like seemingly random memories. Our job is to trust the process, not control it.

How Telehealth Helps: The technology actually encourages less interference. Online, I rely more on verbal check-ins and less on reading every micro-expression. This naturally creates more space for your internal process to unfold.

Many clients tell me they feel less "watched" during telehealth sessions, which helps them go deeper into their internal experience. The slight distance of the screen can actually create the perfect amount of therapeutic space.

​Mistake #4: Inadequate Therapist Training

This is the mistake that keeps me up at night because it affects so many people. EMDR looks simple from the outside, just eye movements and questions, right? But it's incredibly nuanced. I've seen therapists with minimal training attempt EMDR and cause real harm.

Proper EMDR training requires at least 50 hours of instruction, plus ongoing consultation. We need to understand trauma's impact on the brain, how memory networks function, and how to handle abreactions (intense emotional responses). Most importantly, we need to know when NOT to do EMDR.

As someone who completed extensive training and continues with consultation groups, I can't stress enough how much depth there is to this work. The difference between effective EMDR and harmful pseudo-EMDR often comes down to proper training.

How Telehealth Helps: Online therapy has actually improved access to well-trained EMDR therapists. Location is no longer a barrier. You can work with specialists who have hundreds of hours of training rather than settling for whoever happens to be nearby.

Telehealth also enables better ongoing consultation for therapists. We can easily connect with EMDR consultants and participate in training groups regardless of geography, which means better care for you.

Mistake #5: Poor Post-Session Support

The work doesn't stop when our session ends. After EMDR processing, your brain continues integrating the work for days or even weeks. Many therapists fail to prepare clients for this continuation of healing, leaving people feeling blindsided by vivid dreams, emotional waves, or body sensations.

I always tell my clients: EMDR is like emotional surgery. You wouldn't expect to feel normal immediately after physical surgery, and the same applies here. Your nervous system needs time to reorganize and heal.

The language we use matters enormously. I never tell clients that EMDR has "opened doors that can't be closed" or that their trauma is "more activated." Instead, I frame post-session experiences as signs that your brain is doing exactly what it's supposed to do, healing.

How Telehealth Helps: Online therapy makes follow-up support so much easier. I can check in via secure messaging, offer brief phone calls, or schedule shorter sessions to help you navigate the integration process.
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Being at home during and after sessions also means you have immediate access to your comfort items and support systems. No driving home feeling vulnerable, you're already safe.

​The Telehealth Advantage You Didn't Expect

Here's what surprised me most about doing EMDR online: many clients actually go deeper faster than they did in my office. There's something about being in your own environment that helps access those protective parts of yourself that might be guarded in an unfamiliar space.

The bilateral stimulation works just as effectively online, whether through watching the dot move across your screen, using tactile buzzers, or even alternating tapping your knees. The brain doesn't care where the bilateral input comes from; it cares about the consistency and rhythm. At Inspired Life Counseling we use a specific platform called RemotEMDR that has dots that go across the screen.  Your screen turns black while the dots travel left and right, but on our end we can see you, keep our eye on you, and watch how your are presenting.  If your memory is especially painful to remember, then we have the ability to notice and stop the session or redirect to use your resources and help calm you.  Just because you are on the other side of a monitor, you are not alone.

What telehealth offers that in-person sometimes can't is immediate integration into your real life. We can process a memory and then literally look around your actual environment to reinforce the new, adaptive perspective. That's powerful medicine.

Your Healing Journey Matters

As Dr. Sue Johnson reminds us, healing happens in relationship. Whether that relationship unfolds in my office or through a screen, what matters is the safety, attunement, and expertise present in the connection.

EMDR isn't magic, it's neuroscience. When done correctly, with proper preparation, appropriate targets, skilled guidance, minimal interference, and good support, it can be life-changing. When done incorrectly, it can leave you feeling more stuck than when you started.
If you're considering EMDR, ask potential therapists about their training hours, consultation involvement, and how they handle the preparation phase. Trust your gut about whether they understand trauma's complexity or see it as a quick fix.

Finding Your Path Forward

Healing from trauma and PTSD isn't about finding the "perfect" therapy, it's about finding the right therapist who understands the work and can create safety for your unique healing journey.

If you're struggling with trauma, PTSD, or painful memories that keep interfering with your life, please reach out for help. You deserve support from someone who really understands this work.

If you're in California, I'd be honored to walk alongside you in this healing journey, whether through telehealth or at our physical offices in Chico or Redding. If you're in another state, please seek out an EMDRIA-certified therapist who can provide the skilled, compassionate care you deserve.

Your brain's capacity to heal is remarkable. Sometimes it just needs the right conditions to do what it already knows how to do.

A condition to work at Inspired Life Counseling is to be fully trained by an EMDRIA approved EMDR trainer.  Every therapist was either already trained before hiring or was hired on the condition they will attend a training by the end of their first three months of training.  All therapists are able to consult with one another at any point in the day, contributing to their ability to access expertise on site and therefore provide high quality EMDR.

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Therapist Spotlight:

Juen Arzadon has been working as a pre-licensed therapist at Inspired Life Counseling since 2025.  He is our fully online EMDR telehealth therapist, and he is bilingual with native fluency in both Tagalog and English. Juen holds his sessions after 4:00 pm pacific time and on the weekends, making it easier for clients to access his online therapy services.

A former US Marine, Juen has a deep understanding of the stressors active duty military members, veterans, and the families who live with and love service members.  Juen has also received training in working with people who experience sex addiction.  His keen intellect, wit, and easy-going personality make it easy to let down your guard and go deep into the healing process.

To learn more about Juen, please click the button below:

Juen Arzadon

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