What do I mean by that? Well, we are humans and in our humanity we can tend to make bad choices. In that humanity we can tend to be judgmental. We can easily end up judging ourselves and then subconsciously fear others will judge us with that same standard (or worse). So we bend the truth:
But what if it looked like this instead:
In none of those examples did we have to over-explain ourselves or bend the truth. We owned it. With the last bullet point where the person said yes to an event or favor but went about it half-heartedly or with some resentment I gave the bulleted example of saying no, but there are some times where saying yes is appropriate. They've gone out of their way for you in the past or they're truly in need and while you don't really want to you know it's the right thing to do to say yes. In that instance let your yes mean yes. If you tell someone yes - then do it full-heartedly and without resentment. You said yes. It's not their fault that you made the choice to go with them when you weren't feeling it. If you made the choice to say yes, then also make the choice to enjoy yourself. Make the choice to pull yourself out of whatever mood you're in and try to find the good in the situation. Is there a song playing you love and you can bop along to? Is there a friend there that you usually enjoy seeing? Are you going to be blessing someone with this favor and it feels good to pay it forward? You chose to say yes to the friend and/or the event/favor - so then also choose to say yes to putting your best foot forward. Own your yes. Yes is a choice. No is a choice. Own each one of those. Let your yes mean yes, and your no mean no. Own it. Don't say one and mean the other, and then make the people around you pay the price for your inability to be authentic. Let that sink in. Marinate on it. Hear yourself when you're bending the truth or using the wrong yes/no. Let yourself have grace from judgment and just keep working on being real. Being true to yourself and thereby true to others. You'll be surprised at how much people respect this quality iN the people around them. It makes you trustworthy. People respect trustworthy.
If you'd like to learn more about Jessica or to schedule an appointment, please go to her bio by clicking the button below. Here you will find her appointment request page, fees, etc. This article was originally written on Jessica's personal website on 8/16/2018
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Inspired Life Counseling
Inspired Life Counseling is owned and directed by Jessica Wilkerson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104464.
Office Hours: By Appointment ContactContact us!
Inspired Life Counseling is owned and directed by Jessica Wilkerson, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104464.
Office Hours: By Appointment ContactContact us!
MISSION: To provide a tranquil and healing space in which people in our community can find calmness internally through the relaxing atmosphere along with respectful and engaging therapy conversations. To contribute to happier and more secure families by helping individuals, couples, and teens heal within and thereby creating different ways of engaging with themselves, the world, and those they love.
VISION: Creating a new kind of therapy experience in the Chico area in which therapists have smaller caseloads, giving them the flexibility to spend more time with clients as needed - longer sessions, phone calls, client centered advocacy. Creating a space in our community where clients can go between sessions just to sit, linger, and re-center themselves when they're having difficult days. A place to belong while they heal their hearts and relationships. A therapy office that embodies the unconditional love of Christ no matter what a person's gender identity, romantic disposition, or previous life hardships, experiences, or actions might have been. To be a safe place.
VISION: Creating a new kind of therapy experience in the Chico area in which therapists have smaller caseloads, giving them the flexibility to spend more time with clients as needed - longer sessions, phone calls, client centered advocacy. Creating a space in our community where clients can go between sessions just to sit, linger, and re-center themselves when they're having difficult days. A place to belong while they heal their hearts and relationships. A therapy office that embodies the unconditional love of Christ no matter what a person's gender identity, romantic disposition, or previous life hardships, experiences, or actions might have been. To be a safe place.
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