Category: EMDR

1/12/2026 0 Comments

How to Grieve Well: Healing After Loss (A Therapist's Guide for Trauma Survivors)

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Grief is one of the most difficult human experiences to navigate, and when you're a trauma survivor, it can feel nearly impossible. I've spent years working with clients who've faced this exact struggle, people who feel stuck, numb, or overwhelmed when loss enters their already complicated emotional landscape. If you're reading this, you might be one of them.

Let me start by saying this: there's nothing wrong with you if grief feels different or harder than what others describe. Your nervous system has been through things. Your attachment patterns have been shaped by difficult experiences. The way you grieve will be uniquely yours, and that's not just okay, it's expected.

When Trauma and Grief Collide

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1/5/2026 0 Comments

Creating Safety to Feel Again: How Trauma-Informed Self-Care Rebuilds Confidence from the Inside Out

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Divorce recovery is tough terrain to navigate. I've been working with trauma survivors for years, and I can tell you that rebuilding confidence after a marriage ends isn't just about positive thinking or "moving on." It's about creating safety in your nervous system so you can actually feel again, without panic, without that constant knot in your stomach, without your mind racing through worst-case scenarios.

The truth is, divorce often triggers our deepest attachment wounds. Your nervous system doesn't distinguish between physical danger and emotional threat. When your primary relationship dissolves, your brain interprets this as a survival crisis. That's why you might feel like you're losing your mind, even when you know logically that you're going to be okay.

What Happens to Your Nervous System During Divorce

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12/29/2025 0 Comments

The Letdown After the Big Plan: What Happens When the Excitement is Over

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The post-achievement crash is a tough topic to talk about because it catches us so off-guard. You've just accomplished something meaningful, maybe you graduated, got married, finished a big project, or survived a challenging life transition, and instead of feeling triumphant, you feel... empty. Deflated. Like the air has been let out of your balloon.

As a therapist, I see this pattern constantly in my office. Clients come in confused and sometimes ashamed, wondering what's wrong with them that they can't just enjoy their success. "I should be happy," they tell me. "I worked so hard for this, so why do I feel so low?"
Let me start by saying this: there is nothing wrong with you. What you're experiencing is not only normal but actually shows your nervous system is working exactly as it should.

Your Brain on Achievement: The Neuroscience of Letdown

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12/15/2025 0 Comments

Adolescence and Identity Formation: Why Teens Need Space to Explore and Mess Up

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Watching teenagers navigate identity formation can feel terrifying for parents. I see it in my office every day, parents who are genuinely confused and scared when their previously compliant child suddenly dyes their hair purple, starts hanging out with new friends, or announces they're questioning everything they once believed. It's natural to want to pull them back, to keep them safe, to guide every step. But here's what I've learned in my years as a therapist: healthy adolescent development actually requires space for exploration and, yes, making mistakes.

As someone who works extensively with teens and families, I want to share why this messy, sometimes chaotic process isn't just normal: it's absolutely necessary for your teenager to become a healthy, well-adjusted adult.

The Adolescent Brain: A Work in Progress

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12/8/2025 0 Comments

A How-To Guide if Your Loved One Is in the Hospital for Long-Term Care

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Long-term hospitalization is one of those life experiences that nobody prepares you for. As a therapist who has walked alongside families through these challenging seasons, I've witnessed firsthand how overwhelming it can feel when someone you love requires extended medical care. The uncertainty, the disrupted routines, the financial stress, the emotional roller coaster, it's a lot to navigate, and it's completely normal to feel lost.

In my practice, I've learned that families often focus so intensely on the medical aspects of their loved one's care that they forget to tend to their own emotional well-being and the relationship dynamics that inevitably shift during these times. Today, I want to share what I've discovered about supporting both your loved one and yourself through this journey, drawing from attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and the wisdom of caring for the caregiver.

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12/1/2025 0 Comments

Self-Care or Avoidance? Why Isolation Isn't Always Healing (Especially for Trauma Survivors)

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Isolation versus self-care, it's one of the trickiest distinctions I encounter in my practice. As a therapist, I've sat across from countless trauma survivors who genuinely believe they're taking care of themselves by pulling away from others. And I get it. After experiencing betrayal, abuse, or overwhelming loss, the world can feel unsafe. People can feel unsafe. So naturally, we retreat.

But here's what I've learned in my years of practice: there's a profound difference between the solitude that heals and the isolation that keeps us stuck. And for trauma survivors especially, this distinction can mean the difference between recovery and remaining trapped in cycles of pain.

When "Self-Care" Becomes Self-Sabotage

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11/19/2025 0 Comments

When Trauma Mimics Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorders: Why Differential Diagnosis Matters

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Mental health diagnosis isn't always straightforward. Sometimes what looks like one condition is actually something completely different underneath. This is especially true when it comes to trauma and how it can masquerade as bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder (BPD).

As someone who's worked in mental health for years, I've seen this mix-up happen more times than I can count. A person comes in thinking they have bipolar disorder because of their intense mood swings, or they've been told they have BPD because of their emotional struggles. But when we dig deeper, we often find that trauma is the real culprit behind their symptoms.

The Great Imitator: How Trauma Masks Itself

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10/9/2025 0 Comments

Tips to Move Toward Secure Attachment: Practical Strategies

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Changing your attachment style as an adult is challenging work. I won't sugarcoat that. The patterns we developed in childhood run deep, and they've been our go-to strategies for navigating relationships for years, maybe decades. But here's what I want you to know: it's absolutely possible to move toward more secure attachment, no matter where you're starting from.
Whether you tend toward anxious attachment (constantly seeking reassurance), avoidant attachment (keeping people at arm's length), or disorganized attachment (swinging between the two), you can develop the skills that securely attached people seem to naturally have. It just takes intentional practice and a lot of self-compassion along the way.

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7/14/2025 0 Comments

How to Build Self-Confidence After Going Through a Divorce

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Divorce is one of life's most challenging experiences. Beyond the legal paperwork and logistics, there's something deeper that gets shaken – your confidence in yourself. You might find yourself questioning everything: your judgment, your worth, your ability to make good decisions. If this sounds familiar, know that you're not alone, and more importantly, rebuilding your self-confidence is absolutely possible.

As someone who has worked with countless individuals navigating this difficult transition, I've seen people emerge from divorce stronger and more confident than they ever imagined. The key is understanding that confidence isn't something that magically returns overnight – it's something you actively rebuild, one small step at a time.

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7/7/2025 0 Comments

What is Complex PTSD? Understanding When Trauma Looks Different

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Complex PTSD is a tough topic to talk about, partly because it's so often misunderstood. You might be reading this because you have all the symptoms of PTSD, but you can't point to that one big traumatic event everyone talks about. Maybe you're wondering if your experiences "count" or if what you're feeling is real.

Let me start by saying this: your experiences absolutely count, and what you're feeling is very real.

What Makes Complex PTSD Different:

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6/30/2025 0 Comments

Healing Generational Trauma: How Therapy Empowers Adolescents

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Generational trauma is a heavy topic, and if you're reading this, chances are you're either a teen struggling with patterns that feel bigger than yourself, or a parent watching your adolescent navigate pain that seems to echo through your family history. Here's what I want you to know: healing is possible, and adolescence is actually one of the most powerful times for breaking these cycles.

As a therapist who's worked with countless families, I've seen how trauma doesn't just affect the person who experienced it directly. It ripples through generations like waves, showing up in our relationships, our emotional responses, and the way we see ourselves in the world. But here's the incredible thing about working with adolescents – their brains are literally wired for change and growth in ways that make healing not just possible, but probable.

What Generational Trauma Actually Looks Like

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3/27/2025 0 Comments

Overly Dependent: When Your Partner Feels Like Oxygen (But You're Gasping)

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Being overly dependent in a relationship is a tough topic to talk about. It brings up feelings of shame, guilt, and fear that many of us would rather avoid. But here's the thing - recognizing dependency patterns doesn't mean there's something inherently wrong with you or your partner. It means you're human, and you're ready to create healthier connection.

If your partner feels like they can't breathe without you, or if you find yourself suffocating under the weight of being someone's emotional lifeline, you're not alone. This dynamic affects countless couples, and understanding it is the first step toward breathing easier together.

What Overly Dependent Actually Looks Like

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2/27/2025 0 Comments

The Subtle Shifts of EMDR: Confidence, Patience, and Life Beyond Trauma Recovery

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EMDR therapy is fascinating: not just for what it heals, but for the unexpected ways it changes your entire relationship with yourself and the world around you. While most people know EMDR helps process traumatic memories, the ripple effects often surprise both clients and therapists alike. You might find yourself feeling more confident in job interviews, having more patience with your kids, or noticing that situations that used to trigger anxiety now feel manageable.

These aren't just nice side effects. They're profound shifts that happen when your brain stops running old, outdated programs and starts operating from a place of healing and integration.

The Science Behind These Surprising Changes

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2/13/2025 0 Comments

Complex Trauma and EMDR: Turning Negative Self-Beliefs Into Positivity

Complex trauma is one of those heavy topics that we need to talk about more openly. Unlike a single traumatic event, complex trauma happens when someone experiences repeated or ongoing trauma, often starting in childhood. Think emotional abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or growing up in chaos. These experiences don't just leave emotional scars; they rewire our brains to believe some pretty harsh things about ourselves.

If you've lived through complex trauma, you probably know those internal voices well: "I'm not good enough," "I'm broken," "I can't trust anyone," or "It's all my fault." These aren't just passing thoughts, they become core beliefs that shape how you see yourself and move through the world.

But here's the hopeful part: those beliefs can change. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy has shown incredible results in helping people rewrite these negative scripts and develop genuinely positive self-beliefs.

What Makes Complex Trauma Different

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2/2/2025 0 Comments

How Bilateral Stimulation Reprocesses Traumatic Memories: The Neuroscience Behind EMDR

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Let's be honest: trauma is a tough topic to talk about. But understanding how our brains process traumatic memories can actually be incredibly empowering. And when it comes to healing from trauma, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) has become one of the most fascinating and effective treatments we have.

As a therapist, I've watched EMDR work what seems like magic in the therapy room. But there's nothing magical about it: it's pure neuroscience. The secret lies in something called bilateral stimulation, and what it does to our brains is pretty remarkable.

What Actually Happens During Bilateral Stimulation?

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11/28/2022 0 Comments

EMDR & Me

by Jessica Wilkerson, LMFT 104464

It's not for everybody, and everyone isn't necessarily ready for it when they walk in the door.

The following article is written from my experience as a psychotherapist who has been providing EMDR since 2014. If you're reading this and you're a fellow clinician, you'll be happy to hear that my training was EMDRIA approved. I've been trained in the standard protocol and also in the Interpersonal protocol invented by Roy Kiessling.

If you're not a therapy-nerd, then all of that was just my way of tooting my horn and letting other therapists know I'm legit - there are some wonky EMDR trainings out there that give this modality a bad name when those therapists start trying to use what they were taught. The EMDRIA part of that paragraph is the most important part.

But I digress... Why is it not for everyone and why are people not necessarily ready for it right away?

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12/18/2020 1 Comment

EMDR & Telehealth

By Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT

"Can a person really get any sort of benefit from trying to do EMDR online?" "How will they do it if they can't use the vibrating paddles or wear the headphones?" "This seems sketchy!"

I have been providing EMDR through telehealth and I've been seeing amazing results!

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VISION: Creating a new kind of therapy experience in the Chico and Redding areas in which therapists have smaller caseloads, giving them the flexibility to spend more time with clients as needed - longer sessions, phone calls, client-centered advocacy. Creating a space in our community where clients can go between sessions to sit, linger, and re-center themselves when they're having difficult days. A place to belong while they heal their hearts and relationships. A therapy office that embodies the unconditional love of Christ, no matter what a person's gender identity, romantic disposition, or previous life hardships, experiences, or actions might have been. To be a safe place.

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YOUR CART

How to Grieve Well: Healing After Loss (A Therapist's Guide for Trauma Survivors)

Creating Safety to Feel Again: How Trauma-Informed Self-Care Rebuilds Confidence from the Inside Out

The Letdown After the Big Plan: What Happens When the Excitement is Over

Adolescence and Identity Formation: Why Teens Need Space to Explore and Mess Up

A How-To Guide if Your Loved One Is in the Hospital for Long-Term Care

Self-Care or Avoidance? Why Isolation Isn't Always Healing (Especially for Trauma Survivors)

When Trauma Mimics Bipolar or Borderline Personality Disorders: Why Differential Diagnosis Matters

Tips to Move Toward Secure Attachment: Practical Strategies

How to Build Self-Confidence After Going Through a Divorce

What is Complex PTSD? Understanding When Trauma Looks Different

Healing Generational Trauma: How Therapy Empowers Adolescents

Overly Dependent: When Your Partner Feels Like Oxygen (But You're Gasping)

The Subtle Shifts of EMDR: Confidence, Patience, and Life Beyond Trauma Recovery

Complex Trauma and EMDR: Turning Negative Self-Beliefs Into Positivity

How Bilateral Stimulation Reprocesses Traumatic Memories: The Neuroscience Behind EMDR

EMDR & Me

EMDR & Telehealth

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