Category: Healing

1/5/2026 0 Comments

Creating Safety to Feel Again: How Trauma-Informed Self-Care Rebuilds Confidence from the Inside Out

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Divorce recovery is tough terrain to navigate. I've been working with trauma survivors for years, and I can tell you that rebuilding confidence after a marriage ends isn't just about positive thinking or "moving on." It's about creating safety in your nervous system so you can actually feel again, without panic, without that constant knot in your stomach, without your mind racing through worst-case scenarios.

The truth is, divorce often triggers our deepest attachment wounds. Your nervous system doesn't distinguish between physical danger and emotional threat. When your primary relationship dissolves, your brain interprets this as a survival crisis. That's why you might feel like you're losing your mind, even when you know logically that you're going to be okay.

What Happens to Your Nervous System During Divorce

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12/22/2025 0 Comments

Emotions Series Part 1: What's the Difference Between Feeling and Showing an Emotion?

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Emotions can feel like a mystery, even to those of us who work with them every day. You might notice your heart racing during a difficult conversation, but your face remains completely neutral. Or maybe you've had the experience of someone asking "Are you okay?" when you thought you were hiding your frustration perfectly well. This disconnect between what we feel inside and what others see on the outside is more common than you might think, and it's rooted in fascinating neuroscience.

As a therapist, I see this emotional complexity play out in my office daily. The difference between feeling an emotion and showing an emotion shapes how we connect with others, how we heal, and how we navigate our relationships. That's why I'm excited to start this four-part series exploring the intricate world of emotions and expression.

The Neuroscience Behind Feeling vs. Showing

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12/1/2025 0 Comments

Self-Care or Avoidance? Why Isolation Isn't Always Healing (Especially for Trauma Survivors)

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Isolation versus self-care, it's one of the trickiest distinctions I encounter in my practice. As a therapist, I've sat across from countless trauma survivors who genuinely believe they're taking care of themselves by pulling away from others. And I get it. After experiencing betrayal, abuse, or overwhelming loss, the world can feel unsafe. People can feel unsafe. So naturally, we retreat.

But here's what I've learned in my years of practice: there's a profound difference between the solitude that heals and the isolation that keeps us stuck. And for trauma survivors especially, this distinction can mean the difference between recovery and remaining trapped in cycles of pain.

When "Self-Care" Becomes Self-Sabotage

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4/7/2025 0 Comments

Humor Builds Resilience: How Jokes Can Make You Stronger

Group of people on a sofa laughing, reading a book, and playing with a clown nose.

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. Your car breaks down the day before a big presentation, your teenager decides to have a meltdown at the grocery store, or you spill coffee all over your laptop during an important video call. In moments like these, you have two choices: you can let the stress consume you, or you can find a way to laugh about it.

I know what you might be thinking, "Really? Laughter is supposed to help me handle stress?" But here's the thing: humor isn't just about feeling good in the moment. It's actually one of the most powerful tools we have for building genuine resilience. And I'm not just talking about putting on a brave face or pretending everything's fine. I'm talking about fundamentally changing how your brain and body respond to challenges.

The Science Behind Your Smile

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12/6/2024 0 Comments

The Neuroscience of Rituals: How Traditions Keep Us Grounded Through Uncertainty, Grief & Stress

Picture of a family sitting around a burning candle in a meditative fashion

Let's talk about something that might seem a little mystical at first, rituals and traditions. You know, those little (or big) things we do that feel important but maybe we can't quite put our finger on why. Like always making your coffee the exact same way each morning, or how your family always watches the same movie every Christmas Eve, or the way you light a candle when you're feeling overwhelmed.

Here's the thing: there's actually some pretty fascinating science behind why these rituals feel so grounding and helpful, especially when life gets tough. And I'm not just talking about religious ceremonies (though those count too). I'm talking about any repeated, meaningful action that helps you feel more centered.

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11/17/2024 0 Comments

Oops, I Laughed! Why Humor Helps Us Connect and Heal

Picture of four people around a table while sitting in the livingroom laughing.

You know that moment when something terrible happens, and then, completely out of nowhere, you find yourself laughing? Maybe it was a nervous giggle during a stressful meeting, or perhaps you cracked a joke at the worst possible time. Your first instinct might be to feel guilty about it. Should I really be laughing right now?

Here's the thing: that spontaneous laughter isn't a character flaw. It's actually your brain doing something pretty incredible. When we laugh during difficult times, we're not being insensitive, we're activating one of our most powerful tools for connection and healing.

Let me share why that "oops, I laughed" moment might be exactly what you (and everyone around you) needed.

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7/22/2023 0 Comments

Why Does Talking About it Help?

by Emily Emmerman, MSW, ASW

Picture of therapist helping client reorganize thoughts and fears

People come to therapy for a variety of reasons - to talk about and processes traumatic events, to better understand themselves and the way they process the world, to learn new skills to be more emotionally flexible, and even to just vent about life and get some clarification. No matter which way you spin it, you come to therapy to process, and processing means talking. But what happens when we feel like talking about the past might open up Pandoras Box?

All too often I have clients come to their session who say something along the lines of, "I want to feel better, but talking about what happened won't fix it, so I don't want to talk about it."

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7/13/2023 0 Comments

How to: Healthy Mental Health

by Marti Tourville, AMFT

Today, I want to dive deep into a topic that lies at the very core of our being: mental health. It's a
subject close to my heart, and I firmly believe that nurturing our mental well-being is vital for leading a wholehearted and authentic life.

In a world that often values productivity over self-care, we must recognize the intrinsic worth of our mental health. Just as we prioritize physical health, it's equally essential to devote time and energy to our emotional and psychological well-being. Let's explore why embracing our mental health is so crucial:

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4/17/2023 0 Comments

Uncomfortable, but Necessary Changes

By Jessica Darling Wilkerson, LMFT

Last week I wrote a blog I titled, "Your New Normal." It's such a big concept that I wanted to touch on another way of looking at the same topic.

When we're growing and changing on purpose there's a lot of emotional labor involved. Noticing what you're doing that's contributing to pain and dysfunction in your life, trying to change established patterns of thinking and behaving, and navigating relationships around you. That's exhausting! You're always thinking!

In some of the relationships you're trying to change you are trying to be kinder, less defensive, less offensive, what-have-you. In other relationships you may be trying to have healthier and stronger boundaries. Learning to say no - or standing up for yourself in situations you might have otherwise stood back and felt bad. In these latter examples those relationships are likely going to feel worse before they feel better.

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4/10/2023 0 Comments

Your New Normal

By Jessica Darling Wilkerson, LMFT

I've heard people say, "I just want to feel normal!"

What is "Normal" anyway?

Normal is different for everyone. It's either the way you usually feel, except for right now - or - it's the way you perceive everyone around you is feeling, and it's different from how you're feeling.

Let's look at this:

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1/9/2023 0 Comments

Hunger, Nutrition, and Mental Health

by Jennifer Barzey, LCSW

Despite having studied nutrition and having developed an understanding of the impact that food can have on our physical and mental health, I still love chocolate. After a stressful experience or difficult day, I still sometimes find myself more enticed by chips or sweets. There are many reasons for this. I grew up associating food with both a way to feel better when sad and a way to celebrate when happy. Turning down food prepared for me was rude and having more was seen as a compliment to the chef. When I didn’t yet have the skills needed to cope with my feelings, food was there.

Our relationship with food can be quite complicated!

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11/21/2022 0 Comments

The observing self, and why to make friends with it.

By Joe Acciaioli, LCSW

Ever notice how good your dog or cat is at being fully in the moment? Not a care in the world. Just lying around, enjoying a sunbeam or special toy. Not worrying about what comes next, or what happened last week. Just enjoying what is happening. Right. Now. So simple!

We humans, however, are much more complicated than our pets. We are both blessed and cursed with what is sometimes called the observing self. The observing self means our ability to step back from thoughts and feelings, in a way animals can't. This is due to our big brains. The trouble is, we often race around letting our thoughts and feelings rule us. When that happens, we're not so much observing our thoughts and feelings as we are buying into them, as if they were our identity.

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12/18/2020 1 Comment

EMDR & Telehealth

By Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT

"Can a person really get any sort of benefit from trying to do EMDR online?" "How will they do it if they can't use the vibrating paddles or wear the headphones?" "This seems sketchy!"

I have been providing EMDR through telehealth and I've been seeing amazing results!

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12/18/2020 2 Comments

Do Online Sessions REALLY help????

by Jessica Wilkerson, MA, LMFT

The short answer: Yes!

But isn't in-person therapy better?

Mehhhhhh... yes and no.

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(530) 809-1702

[email protected]

Locations:

1025 Village Lane, Chico CA 95926

1610 West Street, Ste 4, Redding CA 96001

Inspired Life Counseling is NOT a crisis center and is not equipped with the necessary tools to help in an emergency. Please click below for more information if you or your loved one is in crisis: Crisis Information.

Crisis Information

By texting Inspired Life Counseling at ( 530) 809-1702, you agree to receive conversations (external) messages from Inspired Life Counseling. We are NOT a crisis response. If you are in a mental health crisis or feel you are a danger to yourself or someone else, please contact 911. If you would like to no longer receive SMS correspondence Reply STOP to opt-out; Reply HELP for support; Message & data rates may apply; Messaging frequency may vary. Visit https://www.inspiredlifechico.com/contact to see our privacy policy and our Terms of Service.

MISSION: To provide a tranquil and healing space in which people in our community can find calmness internally through the relaxing atmosphere, along with respectful and engaging therapy conversations. To contribute to happier and more secure families by helping individuals, couples, and teens heal within and thereby creating different ways of engaging with themselves, the world, and those they love.

VISION: Creating a new kind of therapy experience in the Chico and Redding areas in which therapists have smaller caseloads, giving them the flexibility to spend more time with clients as needed - longer sessions, phone calls, client-centered advocacy. Creating a space in our community where clients can go between sessions to sit, linger, and re-center themselves when they're having difficult days. A place to belong while they heal their hearts and relationships. A therapy office that embodies the unconditional love of Christ, no matter what a person's gender identity, romantic disposition, or previous life hardships, experiences, or actions might have been. To be a safe place.

Inspired Life Counseling
Inspired Life Counseling is owned and directed by Jessica Darling, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #104464.
Office Hours: By Appointment Contact us!

YOUR CART

Creating Safety to Feel Again: How Trauma-Informed Self-Care Rebuilds Confidence from the Inside Out

Emotions Series Part 1: What's the Difference Between Feeling and Showing an Emotion?

Self-Care or Avoidance? Why Isolation Isn't Always Healing (Especially for Trauma Survivors)

Humor Builds Resilience: How Jokes Can Make You Stronger

The Neuroscience of Rituals: How Traditions Keep Us Grounded Through Uncertainty, Grief & Stress

Oops, I Laughed! Why Humor Helps Us Connect and Heal

Why Does Talking About it Help?

How to: Healthy Mental Health

Uncomfortable, but Necessary Changes

Your New Normal

Hunger, Nutrition, and Mental Health

The observing self, and why to make friends with it.

EMDR & Telehealth

Do Online Sessions REALLY help????

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