Category: Teens

12/29/2025 0 Comments

The Letdown After the Big Plan: What Happens When the Excitement is Over

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The post-achievement crash is a tough topic to talk about because it catches us so off-guard. You've just accomplished something meaningful, maybe you graduated, got married, finished a big project, or survived a challenging life transition, and instead of feeling triumphant, you feel... empty. Deflated. Like the air has been let out of your balloon.

As a therapist, I see this pattern constantly in my office. Clients come in confused and sometimes ashamed, wondering what's wrong with them that they can't just enjoy their success. "I should be happy," they tell me. "I worked so hard for this, so why do I feel so low?"
Let me start by saying this: there is nothing wrong with you. What you're experiencing is not only normal but actually shows your nervous system is working exactly as it should.

Your Brain on Achievement: The Neuroscience of Letdown

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12/22/2025 0 Comments

Emotions Series Part 1: What's the Difference Between Feeling and Showing an Emotion?

Picture of two teens. Teen therapy, adolescence, feeling emotions, showing emotions, boundaries, communication, EMDR, EFT, couples therapy, marriage therapy, self-boundaries, healing, trauma focused therapy, counseling

Emotions can feel like a mystery, even to those of us who work with them every day. You might notice your heart racing during a difficult conversation, but your face remains completely neutral. Or maybe you've had the experience of someone asking "Are you okay?" when you thought you were hiding your frustration perfectly well. This disconnect between what we feel inside and what others see on the outside is more common than you might think, and it's rooted in fascinating neuroscience.

As a therapist, I see this emotional complexity play out in my office daily. The difference between feeling an emotion and showing an emotion shapes how we connect with others, how we heal, and how we navigate our relationships. That's why I'm excited to start this four-part series exploring the intricate world of emotions and expression.

The Neuroscience Behind Feeling vs. Showing

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12/15/2025 0 Comments

Adolescence and Identity Formation: Why Teens Need Space to Explore and Mess Up

Picture of teen in bedroom. EMDR for teens, EMDR for parents, family therapy, couples therapy, parenting therapy, blended families, bonding, stress, ODD, RAD, siblings, isolation, defiance, trouble, grief

Watching teenagers navigate identity formation can feel terrifying for parents. I see it in my office every day, parents who are genuinely confused and scared when their previously compliant child suddenly dyes their hair purple, starts hanging out with new friends, or announces they're questioning everything they once believed. It's natural to want to pull them back, to keep them safe, to guide every step. But here's what I've learned in my years as a therapist: healthy adolescent development actually requires space for exploration and, yes, making mistakes.

As someone who works extensively with teens and families, I want to share why this messy, sometimes chaotic process isn't just normal: it's absolutely necessary for your teenager to become a healthy, well-adjusted adult.

The Adolescent Brain: A Work in Progress

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11/17/2025 0 Comments

Why Do We Cry When We're Not Sad? The Surprising Science Behind Tears of Anger and Joy

Picture of five teens sitting in a bit of a pyramid shap while huddled around a coffee table in a living room and crying tears of joy

You know that feeling when you're watching your favorite team win the championship and suddenly tears are streaming down your face? Or when you're so frustrated with your boss that you find yourself crying in the bathroom stall? If you've ever wondered why your body seems to have its emotional wires crossed, you're definitely not alone.

It might be natural to think that tears only come from sadness, but that's not always the case. The truth is, crying is way more complicated than we give it credit for, and understanding why can actually help us make sense of our own emotional responses.

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6/23/2025 0 Comments

Healing Trust After Betrayal: Teen Friendship Repair Using EFT-Inspired Tips

Picture of two young women sitting on a sofa and talking.

Teen friendship betrayal is one of the most painful experiences young people face. When a close friend breaks your trust: whether by sharing secrets, choosing sides, or flat-out lying: it can feel like your world is crashing down. The hurt runs deep because friendships during the teen years aren't just social connections; they're lifelines that help shape identity and provide emotional safety.

But here's what I've learned working with teens: trust can be rebuilt. It takes work, vulnerability, and the right tools, but broken friendships can actually become stronger than they were before the betrayal happened.

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6/9/2025 0 Comments

Ditching Shame-Based Motivation: How Teens Thrive with Choice Theory

Picture of 5 young people sitting on bean bags and learning about Choice Theory

Shame-based motivation is a tough topic to address, but it's one that affects nearly every teenager in some way. As a therapist who works with teens daily, I've seen firsthand how shame can become the invisible force driving so many of their choices: and how devastating that can be for their growth and self-worth.

It might be natural to think that a little shame or fear of disappointing others motivates teens to do better. But that's not always the case. In fact, shame-based motivation often backfires spectacularly, leaving teens feeling stuck, anxious, and disconnected from their own inner compass.

There's a better way. Choice Theory, developed by psychiatrist Dr. William Glasser, offers a completely different approach that puts teens back in the driver's seat of their own lives.

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4/7/2025 0 Comments

Humor Builds Resilience: How Jokes Can Make You Stronger

Group of people on a sofa laughing, reading a book, and playing with a clown nose.

Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect them. Your car breaks down the day before a big presentation, your teenager decides to have a meltdown at the grocery store, or you spill coffee all over your laptop during an important video call. In moments like these, you have two choices: you can let the stress consume you, or you can find a way to laugh about it.

I know what you might be thinking, "Really? Laughter is supposed to help me handle stress?" But here's the thing: humor isn't just about feeling good in the moment. It's actually one of the most powerful tools we have for building genuine resilience. And I'm not just talking about putting on a brave face or pretending everything's fine. I'm talking about fundamentally changing how your brain and body respond to challenges.

The Science Behind Your Smile

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3/27/2025 0 Comments

Overly Dependent: When Your Partner Feels Like Oxygen (But You're Gasping)

Picture of a woman and a man sitting on a sofa and there is blue air coming out of her mouth.

Being overly dependent in a relationship is a tough topic to talk about. It brings up feelings of shame, guilt, and fear that many of us would rather avoid. But here's the thing - recognizing dependency patterns doesn't mean there's something inherently wrong with you or your partner. It means you're human, and you're ready to create healthier connection.

If your partner feels like they can't breathe without you, or if you find yourself suffocating under the weight of being someone's emotional lifeline, you're not alone. This dynamic affects countless couples, and understanding it is the first step toward breathing easier together.

What Overly Dependent Actually Looks Like

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3/15/2025 0 Comments

Overly Independent in Love: Why Walls Don't Actually Protect Your Heart

Picture of a man and woman snuggled next to each other on a sofa and they are looking at her left hand.

Being overly independent in love is a tough topic to talk about. It sounds like a contradiction, right? How can being strong and self-reliant be a problem in relationships? But here's the thing, when independence becomes a fortress that keeps everyone out, it stops protecting your heart and starts imprisoning it instead.

I've worked with countless clients who've built these emotional walls thinking they were being smart. They've been hurt before, so they figure if they don't need anyone, they can't be disappointed. If they handle everything themselves, they won't be let down. But what they discover is that walls designed to keep pain out also keep love from getting in.

What Does Being Overly Independent Actually Look Like?

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1/26/2025 0 Comments

Unwinding After School: How Teens Can Recharge and Still Meet Family Obligations

Three teenagers sit on a sectional sofa engaging in various activities: homework, listening to music, going through a basket.

Let's be real: coming home from school feeling mentally drained while your parents immediately start talking about homework, chores, and "how was your day?" can feel overwhelming. You need time to decompress, but you also don't want to deal with family drama about not pulling your weight around the house.

The good news? You can totally have both. It's all about finding that sweet spot between taking care of yourself and keeping the peace at home.

Why Your Brain Actually Needs a Break (And It's Not Just Being Lazy)

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1/18/2025 0 Comments

How Teen Girls Can Stand Up to Bullies by Setting Healthy Boundaries

Three girls stand together in a classroom, facing the camera confidently as friends.

Dealing with bullies is honestly one of the hardest parts of being a teen girl. Whether it's mean girls spreading rumors, someone making nasty comments about your appearance, or dealing with exclusion and social manipulation, bullying can feel overwhelming and scary. But here's the thing - you have way more power than you think to protect yourself and create healthier relationships through something called boundaries.

Think of boundaries like invisible shields that protect your energy, emotions, and self-worth. They're not walls that keep everyone out - they're more like gates that let the right people in while keeping toxic behavior where it belongs: far away from you.

Why Confidence Is Your Secret Weapon

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12/10/2024 0 Comments

How Teen Boys Can Stand Up to Bullies by Setting Healthy Boundaries

3 teen boys standing and talking on a sidewalk while a school is in the distant background.

Bullying is a tough reality that way too many teen boys face. Whether it's happening in hallways, locker rooms, or online, dealing with bullies can feel overwhelming and confusing. But here's the thing – you have more power than you might realize.

Standing up to bullies isn't about getting into fights or being the toughest guy around. It's actually about something much smarter: setting healthy boundaries. And trust me, learning this skill now will serve you well for the rest of your life.

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11/25/2024 0 Comments

How Teens Can Set Healthy Boundaries with Family (And Still Keep the Peace at Home)

Picture of three teens and an adult, sitting criss-cross on a living room floor while they read books and talk animatedly

Let's be real for a second, setting boundaries with family as a teen feels like walking through a minefield sometimes. You want to protect your mental health and have some basic respect, but you also don't want to deal with the drama, lectures, or consequences that might come from speaking up. If you're living with toxic family dynamics, this balance becomes even trickier.

The good news? It's totally possible to set healthy boundaries while keeping the peace at home. You just need to be strategic about it.

What Boundaries Actually Are (Hint: They're Not Rebellion)

First, let's clear something up. Boundaries aren't about being disrespectful, defiant, or trying to control other people. They're about protecting your own well-being while still functioning within your family system.

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8/18/2023 0 Comments

Multiple Emotions all at Once!

By Lauren Heinrich

Change is a part of life. Sometimes it feels good, like getting a promotion. Sometimes it hurts, like having to end a relationship. We tend to categorize our transitions as “good” or “bad” and expect the emotions we feel to match. It can really be confusing if our feelings don’t match what we expect.

Let’s take starting a family as an example. Having your first child is supposed to be a magical, joyous experience. What are new parents supposed to do if they feel mixed emotions about having a child? It doesn’t feel right to admit to being upset that they won’t have the same amount of freedom as they did before their first kid. Or let’s consider the mixed feelings that might come with taking a promotion at work. Who wouldn’t be excited about a pay raise? No one wants to admit they feel anxious about the new responsibilities, or how their relationships with their old coworkers will change.

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3/14/2023 0 Comments

Helping our Children Handle Stress & Anxiety

by Jessica Darling Wilkerson, LMFT

Anxiety in children can often take on the characteristics of other disorders and can be “misdiagnosed” by the people in the child’s life: parents, family members, teachers, etc. This is because children don’t have the ability to conceptualize and articulate what’s going on intrapsychically for themselves. A child identifies, “I don’t feel good.” They don’t identify the sense of foreboding, or feeling of “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” They can’t figure out why they feel this way, but they want the feeling to stop and they’ll do anything to make that happen.

To stop the anxiety they might refuse to participate in an activity. They could seem keyed-up or restless. They might isolate themselves and fight their parent tooth and nail to keep from engaging in whatever the parent wants them to do (go to school, do homework, get dressed, leave the house, etc). They might create little rituals that seem like OCD.

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1/2/2023 0 Comments

Cutting, burning, self harm... what is it all about?

by Lauren Heinrich, AMFT

Cutting is a sign of anxiety, not just thoughts of suicide.

Self-harm is a scary topic. It’s not a common point of conversation, and is often misunderstood.
It might be natural to think that a person hurting themselves in such an extreme way must be
contemplating suicide, but that is not always the case. It is hard to think that a person can be in
so much emotional pain that they want to harm themselves, but it happens more often than we
think.

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10/6/2022 0 Comments

Teens & Eye Rolling

by Emily Emmerman, MSW, ASW

It might be annoying to be on the receiving end of, but eye rolling is a form of communication for teenage girls. I myself was an extreme eye-roller my intermediate/high school years and it drove my parents WILD because it was "disrespectful" and oftentimes hurtful. As I have become a more mature adult, I've also noticed when teenage girls roll their eyes it's usually in response to a few things:

a sore spot statement/question,
things they think are dumb,
or a defense mechanism against someone asking them to do things they don't want to do (but know they probably should) but may not know how to verbally express this.

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11/29/2021 0 Comments

Confidence is a Virtue!

Karen grew up in a family who was very loving and affirming. They told her she was beautiful, creative, talented, and smart. However, if Karen ever stated any of these character traits aloud then her family would tell her she's boastful, conceited, and full of herself. It was very confusing to be Karen and not really understand who she is. Is she all these good things or by believing them does that make her all those bad ones?

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6/8/2021 0 Comments

Teen suicide is a tough subject to talk about

by staff contribution at Inspired Life Counseling
Teen suicide is a tough subject to talk about. It is complex in its development and it is never caused by just one thing. As a former flight paramedic, I have had to treat this type emergency in a medical environment. As a therapist, I have kind of a different pulse on the community. These unintended consequences of the pandemic have had a dramatic effect on the mental health of our children and teens At the end of last year, not only was I hearing there was an increase in teen suicide in Butte county I was seeng the effects of pandemic restrictions on one of our most vulnerable populations.

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(530) 809-1702

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By texting Inspired Life Counseling at ( 530) 809-1702, you agree to receive conversations (external) messages from Inspired Life Counseling. We are NOT a crisis response. If you are in a mental health crisis or feel you are a danger to yourself or someone else, please contact 911. If you would like to no longer receive SMS correspondence Reply STOP to opt-out; Reply HELP for support; Message & data rates may apply; Messaging frequency may vary. Visit https://www.inspiredlifechico.com/contact to see our privacy policy and our Terms of Service.

MISSION: To provide a tranquil and healing space in which people in our community can find calmness internally through the relaxing atmosphere, along with respectful and engaging therapy conversations. To contribute to happier and more secure families by helping individuals, couples, and teens heal within and thereby creating different ways of engaging with themselves, the world, and those they love.

VISION: Creating a new kind of therapy experience in the Chico and Redding areas in which therapists have smaller caseloads, giving them the flexibility to spend more time with clients as needed - longer sessions, phone calls, client-centered advocacy. Creating a space in our community where clients can go between sessions to sit, linger, and re-center themselves when they're having difficult days. A place to belong while they heal their hearts and relationships. A therapy office that embodies the unconditional love of Christ, no matter what a person's gender identity, romantic disposition, or previous life hardships, experiences, or actions might have been. To be a safe place.

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YOUR CART

The Letdown After the Big Plan: What Happens When the Excitement is Over

Emotions Series Part 1: What's the Difference Between Feeling and Showing an Emotion?

Adolescence and Identity Formation: Why Teens Need Space to Explore and Mess Up

Why Do We Cry When We're Not Sad? The Surprising Science Behind Tears of Anger and Joy

Healing Trust After Betrayal: Teen Friendship Repair Using EFT-Inspired Tips

Ditching Shame-Based Motivation: How Teens Thrive with Choice Theory

Humor Builds Resilience: How Jokes Can Make You Stronger

Overly Dependent: When Your Partner Feels Like Oxygen (But You're Gasping)

Overly Independent in Love: Why Walls Don't Actually Protect Your Heart

Unwinding After School: How Teens Can Recharge and Still Meet Family Obligations

How Teen Girls Can Stand Up to Bullies by Setting Healthy Boundaries

How Teen Boys Can Stand Up to Bullies by Setting Healthy Boundaries

How Teens Can Set Healthy Boundaries with Family (And Still Keep the Peace at Home)

Multiple Emotions all at Once!

Helping our Children Handle Stress & Anxiety

Cutting, burning, self harm... what is it all about?

Teens & Eye Rolling

Confidence is a Virtue!

Teen suicide is a tough subject to talk about

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